As if marriage on the rocks is not a trouble big enough, there are always other challenges that are yet to be faced.
One of them and the biggest according to me is that you need to be up front with your children. You do not want to lie but you also know that their tender psyche can only take so much trauma so you censor a lot of things beforehand and in your mind and make sure that you tell the truth without too much beating around but in a way the is digestible. Maybe in bits and pieces with a lot of compassion and empathy because they suffer from a break up of their parents as much as the spouses go through a harrowing time through an after the breakup.
Indeed the children of the couple are the worst affected if you ask me. God forbid that people with children to support separately. I know a couple who met on a site زواج and were madly in love with each other and had a bitter separation in a matter of a decade!
Trying to work around it is the best approach:
But if things are beyond reconciliation or if one of the partners is as the risk of his life or is prone to injury if he or she stays put in the relationship then the better thing is always to move on.
Never be afraid to talk about it in case the kids bring it up:
This is the safest approach and it means that the kids do know there is something wrong so you do not have to start from the beginning. However, you will need to choose your words appropriately not blaming the other spouse too much but also maintaining a line where you say that you both are no longer compatible.
You could also consider speaking to a therapist before you start a conversation on those lines with the kids. It is important that you assure them that things will still be okay even if you separate and make sure that they do not have the pangs of separation from the other biological parent. It is best to even leave the decision to them as to whom he or she would like to stay with after separation even though there are Qur’anic injunctions dealing with the custody of children that will prevail if both the parents are Muslims.…